Snow Army!
by morethanjustausername
Summary: Christmas fic. 2D pulls a prank on Murdoc for messing with him, and results in a hilarious Gorillaz family christmas!


**Hey Gorillaz fans!**

**I realized that christmas is coming up, so I whipped together another one of my holiday-themed stories! If you are reading this, it is prolly on christmas, or a few days after it. My dad decided to ban me from his computer, which happens to be the only working one in my house, so I have to use the ones at school, or my cellphone. Oh well, enjoy anyway!**

* * *

It was a chilly day, with chilly littles snowflakes drifting through the chilly air. A few of them stuck in my hair, adding to the whole freezing-my-arse-off experience. As much as I complain about the snow, I actually enjoy it. The little snowflakes are so pretty, and Noodle tells me that no two look the same. I don't really get it, because I think all snowflakes look like little white circles. I'm not, like, prejudice to snowflakes or something, but I really don't see what everybody is so up in arms about.

Everyone here is really excited, maybe because it never snows at KONG, or at least that's what Noodle tells me. I don't remember there being any snow last year, but I also don't remember there _not_ being any. I love the snow, but it sucks around KONG. It always seems to be too hard, or too soft. I mean, its great for Murdoc to throw at my head, or to stick in my bed, but for building snowmen or non-lethal projectiles, not so much.

The zombies aren't really slowed down by the flurried flakes either. Today I am doing my best to sculp little snow men for them to eat. I know _I_ get really hungry in the winter (so much so that for once Murdoc yells at me for eating too much, as opposed to not at all), so I figure that the undead get even hungrier. I mean, they are _always_ hungry, even after they just eat! I am really surprised they are not all big fatties, like Murdoc says Russel is.

I hummed a christmas song, but I didn't even bother remembering which one. To me, they all were pretty predictable, so after a while, they all sort of melted together. Apparently, (according to Russel) I could be heard singing one song, but transi- tarnsiti- change to another one. I think he just said that to confuse me. apparently (also according to Russel) it also wasn't that hard to confuse me. I really don't know what they mean... in fact, I don't even remember what I was talking about... hmm... Ok then, new subject.

There was no one out here, not even the zombies, so I continued on with my work. So far I had three snowmen and a snow-woman. Sure they weren't very impressive, but at least they were something. I tugged the white toque down my head further, and rubbed my ears underneath. Brrr.. I had on a red winter jacket, but the cold still found someway to creep up my spine. My back snow-pants made a weird noise every time my legs rubbed together, so I waddled a bit. After figuring out I probably looked like a retard, I stopped. I worked my gloves together absent-mindedly.

I remembered back to this morning, and the reason I was out here.

_~ Once again I woke up to a handful of snow being shoved in my face. I yelped and jumped out of my bead, frantically brushing the snow off my chest. I heard a peal of laughter and saw Murdoc run out of my room. What a troll! My shirt was now soaked and I was shivering. One disadvantage to having a room in the carpark was the near sub-zero temperatures in the winter. Brrr..._

_I tore my shirt off and pulled a long sleeve shirt on. I was still cold, so I pulled a short sleeve shirt on top. Better, but I was still shivering. I changed out of my pyjama pants into sweatpants and headed out my door, to the lift. The air outside the carpark was even colder than in my room, so I hurried to the lift. Once in it, I mercilessly rammed the button with my cold fingers until the sodding lift jolted to life. It whirred up to the kitchen, and the doors opened painfully slow. I hopped from foot to foot, watching my breath form little clouds. The doors creaked open about a foot, then seized. I groaned loudly and proceeded shoving myself through the little hole. Thankfully since I am a twig, I slipped through. _

_I could imagine Murdoc trying to pull that stunt, and getting stuck for days because no one would want to pull him out. I actually laughed when I thought of Russel, and how he probably wouldn't even get that far. Noodle might be able to slip through, but I am skinnier than her. Well, that's not fair. I am skinnier than EVERYONE. Blah. I made my way to a stool and sat down. I put my arm tiredly on the counter and yawned. I looked up at the wall, and my eyes wandered around a bit. They settled on the wall clack, and I attempted to read the time. Ermm.. two..(five-ten-fifteen-twenty-twenty...2?) two twenty-two? Sooo... 2:22? Wait, wait, there was no way Murdoc would have let me sleep in that late! So... IT WAS 2:22 AM?! UUuuunnnghhhh... _

_Well, I knew I was never going to get back to bed, so I devised a plan. I walked back over to the lift, and slipped back in. I pressed the button to go back to the carpark. The doors shuttered again, and opened all the way. Great. Like that was going to help now. Instead of closing again like any normal lift would do, the doors remained open when the lift started moving again. I yelped and pressed myself agenst one of the back corners of the lift car, away from the open door. The lift finally found its destination, and shuttered to a stop there. The door seemed to be closing, so I took this time to bolt out._

_I cautiously looked around the larger carpark. The Winniebago, the Geep, a storage closet and my room were the main attractions, and no one was awake yet, Perfect! I assumed that Murdoc was prolly passed out in his Winne', and wouldn't wake up for a few hours. He really did drink a lot, so I wasn't expecting him to wake up from any noise I would make. The conditions were perfect! I booked it to my room, and nearly jumped in to my snowclothes. I ran out tugging my snow pants on, and hopped to the storage closet._

_'Here wagon-wagon-wagon...' I mumbled, and searched for my wagon._

_I spied it under a pile of Murdoc's nasty magazines, and set about yanking it out. I ripped a few magazines doing so, but it's not like he would notice. I dragged the wagon out of the storage closet and dragged it to the carpark exit. It had an electric sliding door, and the control button was in the Geep, so I just hauled the door open myself. It didn't break, prolly because I only opened it a few feet. I tugged the wagon outside and filled it to the top with snow. I pulled it back inside and tugged the door shut again._

_The wagon was super heavy now, so it took me quite a bit of effort to drag it in front of the Winnebago._

_Okay, long story short, I built about 76 (more or less) snowmen, each of them sporting a different facial expression. It took me a few hours, and most of the snow in the driveway to build, but it was well worth it. My army started about a foot away from the door, as not to get hit when Murdoc stormed out. My favorite snowman had a super-duper scary scowl on its face, and it really creeped my out. I made sure it would be the first one Murdoc would see. I also filled the insides with gravel, so they would be heavy if Murdoc tried to move it._

_I'm a genius._

_Building snowmen and dragging a snow-filled wagon around is hard work, so once I was sure my army was set up, I tugged the sleigh back into the storage closet, and thumped back to my room. I peeled my snowsuit off and plunked myself on my bed. I'm pretty sure I fell asleep immediately, but, I was asleep, so I couldn't tell._

_A few hours later, I woke up to a great deal of swearing and yelling, coming from the carpark. I pulled on a pair of pants and ran outside. Murdoc was struggling against the scowling snowman. I hid behind the Geep and watched him. he managed to bowl over a few snowmen, but was caught on an extra-fat one I made. He fell over, and I couldn't help but laugh. Once I realized what I had done, my hands shot up to my mouth. _

_Murdoc's head snapped over to my direction, and he stared straight at me. His face reddened (probably embarrassed that I saw him, or mabye he was just really mad) and he body-checked the snow man. He shot off in my direction, and I could practically hear the steam coming out of his ears. I jumped up, but too late. By the time I started running, Murdoc was already at my heels. He tackled me to the ground, and sat on my chest. He pinned my arms down with his hands and gave me a very scary look,_

_"Mu-Murdoc! Y-your-r t-t-too he-heavy!" I coughed out. _

_My head felt a bit light, and I could barely breathe._

_"Ya know what, yew little twit? I DON'T CARE!" he practically shouted in my face._

_I flinched back, and tears threatened to flood my eyes. I didn't think he would be this mad! Did he.. hate me? That thought put me over the edge. My eyes filled up, and I looked at Murdoc. He gave me a confused look, and his grip loosened on my wrists._

_I pulled my wrists out and twisted my body so he fell off my chest. He thumped to the floor and looked at me angrily. He was about to say something when I cut him off with a hug. _

_"I'M SORRY!" I bawled, and hugged him really tight,_

_I was crying pretty hard now. Not very manly, I know, but I really didn't want him to hate me! He pulled me off him and gave me a wierd look._

_"Pwease don' 'ate me.." I mumbled, and looked at him._

_"What? I don't hate yew!"_

_"Y-yew don't?" I said._

_He pried me off of him. _

_"No, but I'm pretty pissed off!"_

_Ohhhh... I see. He doesn't hate me at least! He stood up, and I followed suit._

_"Well.. bye then!" I said, and started walking away._

_"Oh no yew don't!" he said, and grabbed my midsection._

_"H-hey!"_

_Murdoc hoisted me over his shoulder, and started walking off to my room._

_"PUT ME DOWN! MURDOOOOOOC!" I yelled._

_"Shuddup faceache." he said._

_He used his free hand to cover up my mouth, effectively cutting off my shouts. I responded by pounding my fists and feet against his chest and back. He kicked open my door and dropped me on my bed._

_"Get yer snow stuff on, and be quick about it!" he growled._

_"But-"_

_"NO BUTS!"_

_He turned around to give me privacy. I shrugged and pulled on my snowpants and jacked. I pulled on my white touque, and shoved some gloves in my pocket._

_"Yew done?" he said._

_"Err... Yeah?"_

_"Come on then!" he said, and grabbed my arm._

_I pulled away, and he turned around to face me._

_"Look. You either walk, or I will carry you again." He threatened._

_I almost contemplated making him carry me, but I decided against it. He tugged me out of my room and across the carpark,. He pulled open the electric door, just as I had done before. How did he know about that?! He shoved me outside and I heard a little clicking sound. Did he just.. lock the door? Was that even possible? I tried to open it, but failed. So now I was stuck outside. I wouldn't put it past him to lock every other door in KONG, so I accepted my fate._

My memory ended, and I sighed. I had been out here for two, three hours? My thoughts were interrupted when the door swung open, revealing a smug-looking Murdoc.

"Yew learned your lesson yet, ya little twit?" he asked.

I sullenly nodded my head.

"Good. Come on in."

"Rea'y?"

"Don't make me change my mind.."

I bolted to the door, quickly hugging Murdoc again before running inside. I felt the warmth return to my bones and sighed.

"Hey 2D! Get yer snow stuff off! It's christmas, yew know!"

I turned to him.

"It is?"

He gave me an incredulous look.

"Well.. yeah! Yew didn't know?"

I shook my head.

"Oh.. well..We're gonna open presents soon, so hurry up!"

"Okay!" I said cheerily, and bolted to my room.

I changed quicker that I ever had in my entire life, and ran up the stairs to the living room. I was sure they would be in there, and I was right. I sat down next to Noodle, and looked over the presents. I saw the presents I had got for everyone months ago.

For Murdoc, some hats and jazz magazines, for Russel, a coupon book for a chicken place, and for Noodle, a Totoro box set, and a football helmet. I don't think Murdoc will actually read the magazines, but hey! I saw the presents sitting there, all nice and wrapped up. It took me a little while to get them wrapped (and get all the tape out of my hair), but I was pretty satisfied. Noodle took them from me a few days later, and I had forgotten all about them.

Murdoc looked pretty excited. I'm not kidding when I say this, but I think he like christmas! Ooooh... the devil is not gonna be happy about that...

We opened our presents... Well.. Murdoc opened all of mine, all of his, and one of Russel's before Noodle stopped him. I got a melodica from Noodle, a chicken wing from Russel (?) and a box of nothing from Murdoc. Noodle got the DvD from me, a few chicken wings from Russel (?) and a suspiciously handmade looking scarf from Murdoc. Russel got the coupon book from me, a shirt that said 'LARDS' on it from Murdoc, and some Japanese food shield from Noodle. Murdoc opened my present first, and his eyes said thank you, while his expression said 'yer an idiot'. Noodle gave him a belt, and Russel gave him a pamphlet on christianity.

All in all, It was a good christmas!


End file.
